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Shit stinks…

I can’t wait until the day when the one person that keeps
piling more shit to the pile, falls face first in it…

Ok, that’s a
bit mean, but gosh…ITS SOO HARD!!!

You get told one minute that
they love you for you bluntness, and then the next minute when you’re blunt with
them, and they ask your opinion, and you give it to them and it doesn’t go their
way…

You’re the worst person on the face of this
Earth.

“Would it be wrong of me to date him right
now?”….

Me: Yes, because it would completely defy the reason of
why you broke up with him in the first place. You have to stop doing what you’re
doing to him. He was finally to the point where life was bearable, and then when
the guy you was with broke up with you, he was the next best thing. Then all the
building and reconstruction that he’s done since the split, was automatically
gone when you came and kicked over his building blocks.

“No, I don’t
mean right now…I mean in a few months..”

Me: What the hell, So
you’re saying that everything about him before he gets saved you didn’t love? He
needed you the most when trying to get closer to God, and you left him out on a
limb, and a very flimsy one at that. It was to the point where it almost
snapped, and you wasn’t there…HE HAD NOTHING, and now that he’s getting along
and is balancing himself on that limb, you think it’s ok to waltz back in, and
have him risk the chance in snapping it? Ok, even if he does get saved in a few
months…just what ya wanted…he doesn’t need you coming and wrecking that for
him. Yeah, you say its the best thing that’ll happen to you in your life,
besides your wedding day. I have a feeling that you’re going to hurt him, you’ve
done it the past three times, and with him just getting saved, and finally
getting close to God, you’ll hurt him and you’ll put him right back to where he
was before getting saved, and he’ll find himself pushing God away. He doesn’t
need that. You’ve done enough damage.

“I think my mom loves you more
than she does me…You’re at my house more than I am..”

Me: If it
makes you happy, I’ll stop coming around. I was there for your sister when You
slighted her, your parents, and your friends. You’re the one that screwed up the
trust issue with your parents. I haven’t lost their trust yet, and I hope I
never do. Losing Yall would be the biggest mistake of my life. Especially both
of you. I already feel like I’ve lost you. You’re the one that keeps driving
yourself farther and farther away from us, and yet we’re still here for you to
crap on some more. Yeah, we take your shit, and I’m sure we’ll always do that.
But you don’t see, that we’re waiting on you to see that. We can’t MAKE you see.
It hurts us to sit back and watch you damage your life like you’re doing. I’ve
heard that your sister looks up to me. That’s great, but I fear that one day I’m
going to screw up, and that’ll be probably the worst day of my life. Talking to
your mom tonight, I think was the beginning of it. I think i royally screwed up.
I’m sorry for everything I did. It’s all my fault. We we’re close, but I lost my
Nextel, and it seemed like the communication stop. Sort of like being an
inconvenience to you because I no longer had it. I hate that you feel this way,
so you’ll no longer have to worry about it. I’ll see your Mama during the day,
along with your sister. I’ll see them at practice. Other than that you don’t
have to worry about a damn thing. It’s taken care of. All I can say is, you
better take care of ’em, because you’re the one that’s never home, and if you
aren’t working you always gotta be gone. Your sister once looked up to you, and
she still does, but slowly you’re losing that, and I hope that you’ll see it
before it’s to late.. I love all of you: Mama, Daddy, You, and
Caitlyn.

“Do you think He “really” loves me?”

Me: Hell yeah
I do, or else why has he suffered more than you. Yeah, it’s easy for you to move
on. We all see that. You can’t be happy without a guy, ever. You’re with a guy
every day of your life. That’s great, but how can you sleep at night being able
to kiss 2 guys and tell them that you love them, and still live with yourself.
It’s not kindergarten anymore. Stop doing this to them, it’s not right. You’ve
been called the “Virgin Whore.” I’ve stood by you and stood up for you when
people called you that. The rumors that spread, it was me defending them and
said they weren’t true. Who else would have done that? Would have put up with
all your crap? Not many, not anyone I can think of other than me, and Him.

I do have one thing left to say:

“I would like for you to take a
look at yourself, your life, and your ways from a different perspective. See
what you’re doing wrong, not for me, not for anybody but You and God. You said
you wanted to get closer, but I see you driving yourself away even further and
further. See what’s happening in life, and not what you want to see. See the
reality of the situation, and not what always makes Jennifer feel good. Don’t be
so self-centered all the time.” You make us feel like shit, while everything is
nice and dandy, and happy-go-lucky for you.

Congratulations, you
probably just made me be the worst person I could ever think I
am…

I hope you’re happy…

Yeah you got pissed at
me, and we haven’t talked since. You have’t bothered to call, you’re just
hanging out with them, because we’re just a substitute when you fall and skin
your knee one more time. You know what, scars don’t ever go away. Always
remember that. You know that when you do fall, we’ll be here, and it shouldn’t
be like that. We only take your shit because We love you, and care. But you
don’t see that, because you don’t want to face the bold face truth, and you
don’t want to hear anything that doesn’t go your way. If you’re happy with life
the way it is right now, and making us feel like pure, pathetic shit…Then keep
livin’ life like that, but I can say, that We wont be here waiting on you
forever to come to your senses.

You haven’t lost a friend, but I’m pretty
sure you lost that “sister” that you said I was. They say tough love is the best
love there is. This is what tough love is. It only makes you stronger. Hell, I
wish I could still say that we were sisters, but I don’t think we are. I
constantly try, but what the hell am I trying for, if you’re not willing to give
a little? I’m sorry it has to be like this, but until you do something about
“you” then I don’t want to be apart of it anymore. It’s went on for too long.

Tell Caitlyn for me, that I’m sorry that it has to be this way, but I
don’t know what else to do, and I can’t help the way you feel.

Peace,
Love, and Bullshit…

That’s life right?

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