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So a couple of days ago I received a fortune cookie that said “Time is of the
essence; Make the best of it while you can.” At first I was like “Oh, ok…” and
just put it behind me. On Friday we seniors received our Caps, Gowns, Stoles,
and Tassels and we also took our group photos. It was an emotional day, but a
good one as well. It was so weird putting on the gown and zipping it up for the
first time. Literally we were all standing there as a group and putting on the
gowns, and I remember all of us just stopping as we were zipping it up and
thinking “This is almost it, we’re putting on our caps and gowns.” I was in just
utter disbelief. I was floating on air while still grounded by my inner shock.
(If that makes any sense whatsoever.)

Then Saturday I made all of my
Graduation Invitations and Annoucements, Party Invitations and Directions, and
the Name Cards that go with it. Sunday we stuffed all the envelopes and I had to
lick them all shut. And Today we got them all mailed out in the mail. Once
again, I NEVER would have THOUGHT that it would be ME that was making out MY
GRADUATION INVITATIONS!! MINE, its just “….” speechless.

Today we were
talking and were like 26 more days until we graduate, and I’m like 26 more days
until I leave behind the same exact routine that I’ve slowly grown accustomed
to. 26 more days until I’m never going back to attend a class at ECHS again. 26
more days until it’s ME walking across that football field and not someone else
that gave me the only reason to attend Graduation in the first place. I ACTUALLY
much a toll graduation has taken on me.

We were in the meeting on Friday
where they issued us our caps and gowns and they told us that we are the largest
class in the history of East Coweta to graduate. I’m thinkin’ “oh great, I’m
like 7th from last to be called.” Then I’m thinkin’ “thats so cool.”

praying for good weather that day as well, because if my graduation gets rained
on then we move into the new gym and I’ll only get 3 to 4 rain tickets. With
that said, I’ll only get to allow 3 or 4 of my family members watch me graduate,
which isn’t fair.

I’ve been highly emotional lately due to several
reasons. There’s a lot going on that most likely no one will or could ever
understand. I want nothing more than for my grandmother to be at my graduation.
That’s something that I always thought she would get to see. Of course she’ll be
there watching from above, and watching over me so I don’t trip and fall flat on
my face as I walk to receive my diploma, but I want her there sitting with my
family, cheering me on. I want to be able to hug her neck afterwards and see the
way she looks at me afterwards. I WANT HER HERE. Not one of my grandparents will
see me graduate, not one. The only thing I’ve ever asked for is for her to see
my get baptized and watch me walk across that football field. She missed my
baptism on April 23rd, and now I wont have her there at graduation. I know when
I wake up that morning, or start getting ready because I most likely wont sleep,
that she’ll be walking beside me, holding my hand, and she’ll be the one holding
me up, helping me stand strong because I wont be strong enough to do it by
myself. I love her, miss her, and want her to know how much I love her and how
things would be different if she were here. I just want her to know that because
I never got to say good-bye.

I think I’m going to go to bed, I have a
long day ahead of me.
I’ll write more later whenever I get another chance


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