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Monthly Archives: April 2009

So as I find my life changing in more ways than one, I also find my soul taking on new meanings. For so long I’ve always been too afraid, too scared, or cared too much about what other’s have thought or think. I’ve taken myself too seriously for the better half of my life and in a sense left behind a sort of innocence that I miss and set out to regain. A sort of innocence that everyone should have and never lose.

"Life is what is happening when you are making plans." Although I have no plans, nor have ever really made any in this life I do think that growing accustomed to everyday life or "everyday rituals" is "making plans." Everyday you follow the same schedule expecting to not have any disruptions. Well I’ve finally learned that although as often as you think something is "untouchable" as 16 years have proven, even that has been left to question.

From here on out I am taking on a new meaning to my everyday life. Living my life in the sense of a gypsy, a "free spirit," or that of a nonconformist. I’m promising to never take myself too seriously, attach myself to material things, to be let down by expectations I make for other’s to live up to, or try to live up to other’s expectations they make for me. I want to be the mystery in the room and for once, I’m living for me and dreaming for me. A wise person once said, "those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind."

Living life with no boundaries (only those of God’s) is essentially a new beginning for me. Positively a rebirth. Ultimately it will take baby steps relearning everything I have scrutinized with a fine-toothed comb, but mostly my life will feel more whole than it ever has before. I plan to take more of everything out of even the smallest situations and putting a positive inspiration on everything. I want to be profound and live profoundly.

"I want to fly, spread my wings and leave the past behind. There’s a life for me that I want to find and I’m strong enough to be myself this time. I want to leave and not look back, I want to laugh and love and dance. I don’t want to miss another chance, to find me." – "Find Me" by Diana Degarmo.

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