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Matt and I were talking about teachers throughout our education and how some have affected in ways that will be with us always, and the others that only provide negative experiences in the eyes of what once used to be our youth. From Math teachers to Professors, it’s amazing how one teacher that you may have had for only a semester or maybe even a whole year made all the troubling times through school worth the walk. And what a walk it was; starting with the first time I cried at the doors of kindergarten class when mom dropped me off to the very last walk of high school [as mama cried] across Garland Shoemake Stadium at East Coweta.

The one teacher that enriched my life with so much light during class and knowledge of not just art itself but life in general was there cheering me on from the faculty seats on that graduation field. Just weeks before graduation for an “assignment” for our Computer Apps class I had written her a paper on my experience and time in her class.  I really didn’t expect it to turn out the way it did, but I was amazed with it come the finish. I never expected for myself to give it to her, but I did. In fact, I’m glad that I did. I shared a piece of reflection through the eyes of a truly touched student, a student that might not of graduated without the inspiration of the remarkable teacher that cares deeply and passionately about her work, and her art. I truly owe a debt of gratitude and if that paper was the only shot at that, then I feel as if I’ve filled that void.

Wow it’s really amazing to look back with people at old memories and realize how much influence and inspiration you allowed yourself to draw from various people. Taking a walk down memory lane with Matt really has made me humble today. Speaking of humble, I think that each one of us should be humble every day of life because it makes you excited and thrilled for everything presented before you, no matter the outcome later on.

Humbled is allowing yourself to be open-minded in a world of closemindedness. Allowing yourself freedom to accept happiness and not form judgement to something just because someone tells us to or sways us to believe so. Humbling experiences keeps people grounded and provides the roots to everyones “wings.”  I think that’s what everyone in this world needs, and more often than a rare oddity. Allow humbleness to wash through your veins; you’ll be amazed at what you’ll allow yourself to find.


Well the first week of classes are off to a great start. Monday I had Music Apps — the teacher is hilariouis. More dorky hilarious than anything else. You should hear her techno-beat for music played in a gym 🙂 Great personalities among the class, we all like to laugh so that makes the time go by faster, which is good. 5 hours in a Music Apps class can be boring to me. I feel like I’m relearning everything I already know, which can be monotonous. I’m the only one in there with a musical background, which is ok. Lot’s of music history knowledge when it comes to artists and things in there, which makes for insightful discussion. The class will hopefully be a breeze; the way she stated it, we can turn in our final paper with our names on it and still pass. Ok by my book, but mine will be the whole assignment length. I’m thinking about doing the Hip-Hop genre (Rap – Lies = Hip Hop).

College Seminar and Experience (2 different classes) were Wednesday. Nothing really much to say about those other than they’re practically the same class, but are offered seperately. The two books are almost identical in stories. We have to read those and do the unit assignments basically and keep portfolios for each. Thankfully she said that since it is the same class we don’t need to stay 2.5 hours extra to read the same materials twice. So that was an added plus. The Experience class is all semester long but starting in October it goes through email correspondence only, which is fine by me. That means that the second session classes I’ll only have to travel two nights instead of three. Gas can be a killer. We have a pretty good group of folks in that class as well. I actually know one of the others, Mrs. Mary. I went to school with some of her kids as did my brother, Chris. She’s a good lady. We talked after class, told me to tell Mama hello for her. Another person in there is also in my Music App class, so that’s pretty cool. Come to know, she’ll also be in my College Writing class as well as Intro. to Old testament. Her and I’ll be pushin’ through the whole semester together, which makes it worthwhile to know you have someone else in the same shoes. The teacher isn’t really anything special; Female. I know her husband. He used to teach at both EC and now CEC.
Overall, the classes went well — better than any of the others I’ve had. We’ll see how next week goes.

Check back.

’til next time —

“You Shall Have Deliverance”

I sit here listing to Deliverance by Bubba Sparxx, I cant help but to
rewind three-hundred and sixty-one days ago to the grass-pit parking
lot out in front of our school. Ill give you a brief history of what
the grass-pit parking lot is. Its the front lawn at our high school in
Sharpsburg. You see, there werent enough parking spots per student so
they opened the opportunity to us of parking in the grass. This started
our senior year, and it has also been a legacy lost as the class of
two-thousand and six filed out of the stadium after graduating on May
twenty-seventh of two-thousand and six.

was only a select group of people, or I should actually say friends,
that parked out on the front lawn. There werent many others besides the
people who claimed their titles as the rednecks. Ironic right? You see,
we were labeled as rednecks for the sole reason because we wore Dixie
shirts, cowboy boots, and belt buckles. Many or most of the group had
trucks ranging from Fords all the way down to Dodges. The Irony may
intrigue you, but I promise it isnt what it seems.

high school youre no one if you dont have a label you fit in with. I,
for one, had many different labels; I fit in with just about everyone
and had friends from every aspect and groups from that school. Most
would call me popular, but I am not a conformist, therefore I won’t
conform my name to that word; its that simple. I am me; there really is
no word for it.

back to the subject. The grass-pit parking lot became the meeting
place, the realm, the base, the club, the after-school hang out, etc.
Whatever you prefer, it was more than that. It was like home for us. It
was the one place where we knew that everyone was friends and nothing
came between us basically. All was fair, open, and honest. It was the
place where we showed up for school early, and stayed late after. For
people that absolutely despise school like me, that was kind of a big
deal. It was the meeting place and parking lot for all of us at the
popular Friday night football games. Shoot, it was a place where we
even went to meet on a weekend when we had nothing better to do. It was
ours, it was home.

of much more, the things we would do there were crazy. Friends fell in
and out of love, had their first experience of smokeless tobacco, and
were so wired on mountain dew and energy drinks they had the jitters.
They left keys in their cars knowing people would get in them and drive
them to far away places on the campus to find it not where they left
it. We had car problems, teacher problems, and life problems. We
spilled our guts out to one another on those grounds, heck we even left
Friday night football games early to go out there, crank up the music,
line dance, have spin-out contest in vehicles, it was a high, something
you dont have to use to change your mental state of mind. We practiced
softball, backyard wrestling, and competed in spitting contests. The
highlight of that place was when it rained; those were the most
anticipated days in the history of that place. Mudding, one word,
several pronunciations, one meaning. Its what fueled our creativity,
fulfilled our boredom, and got us into the most trouble, well besides
Colonel Raines and the history with him.

cold winters wouldnt even keep us away from this place. Bundled up in
beanies, sweatshirts, jeans, boots, and Carhartt jackets we would still
be out there like normal. After the mudding incidents they forbade us
to park on the grass anymore, and it totally crushed the reason we were
at school in the first place. Second semester rolled around and things
werent the same, we literally had to fight for parking spaced just to
hang out, thats how large the student body of our school was. If you
showed up past 7:30 you basically werent getting a parking spot.
Friends vanished, we all basically fell apart. Its all the bittersweet
ending we all have come to know and accept as our senior year came to a
screeching halt when we heard our names called out on that football
field that morning.

we sat there on that hot, humid morning in late May we all would
occasionally glance up at the section we called our own at the Friday
night football games; The Camo and Carhartt section. Forever will the
legacy of the gang of two-thousand and six live on, we will never be
forgotten. Even though there is now a ninth-grade building sitting on
top of all these memories that helped us become the people we are now,
they will forever live on in our hearts. These memories will be some of
the stories that we will be one day telling our kids about.

hard now that were already to August and we watch everyone move away
and move on. I never thought we would have made it to this point, this
fast. It takes your breath away, its exhilarating. Although I look to
my future and see so many new experiences and new chances to make
things right and do all these things different, its even harder leaving
behind what we all know and have grown accustomed to. I guess I never
thought I would get to the point where I would be ok with it, I am
really not sure If Im actually telling the truth now. Through
tear-filled eyes I guess its time to bid everyone a farewell and proper
goodbye because I know wherever life takes us were all going to
succeed. I hope you all strive to do well wherever life leads you and I
hope that one day youll look back on your memories and your time spent
here and think of good times and how theyve made you into who you are.

To the gang of 06:

Heres to us and the turning of a new leaf.

It’s true what they say about everyone acting weird the last two weeks before

I hate change!

1 week until I graduate, kinda

Sunday: Graduate Recognition at church, Luncheon for
Seniors provided by the church, the Bacclaurette for the school.

Review for Finals, Final in 3rd block

Tuesday: Exams in 1st block and
cookout in 3rd block.

Wednesday: Exams in 2nd and 4th block,

Thursday: Graduation practice at 9:00 a.m.; Family starts coming
in from out of town.

Friday: Graduation practice at 9:00 a.m.; Decorate
for Party and get stuff set up.

Saturday: GRADUATION DAY; Seated in the
gym for Senior breakfast at 7:00 a.m., Graduation starts at 9:00 a.m. (march
down to the football stadium); Party starts at 2:00 p.m.

Sunday: Church

So a couple of days ago I received a fortune cookie that said “Time is of the
essence; Make the best of it while you can.” At first I was like “Oh, ok…” and
just put it behind me. On Friday we seniors received our Caps, Gowns, Stoles,
and Tassels and we also took our group photos. It was an emotional day, but a
good one as well. It was so weird putting on the gown and zipping it up for the
first time. Literally we were all standing there as a group and putting on the
gowns, and I remember all of us just stopping as we were zipping it up and
thinking “This is almost it, we’re putting on our caps and gowns.” I was in just
utter disbelief. I was floating on air while still grounded by my inner shock.
(If that makes any sense whatsoever.)

Then Saturday I made all of my
Graduation Invitations and Annoucements, Party Invitations and Directions, and
the Name Cards that go with it. Sunday we stuffed all the envelopes and I had to
lick them all shut. And Today we got them all mailed out in the mail. Once
again, I NEVER would have THOUGHT that it would be ME that was making out MY
GRADUATION INVITATIONS!! MINE, its just “….” speechless.

Today we were
talking and were like 26 more days until we graduate, and I’m like 26 more days
until I leave behind the same exact routine that I’ve slowly grown accustomed
to. 26 more days until I’m never going back to attend a class at ECHS again. 26
more days until it’s ME walking across that football field and not someone else
that gave me the only reason to attend Graduation in the first place. I ACTUALLY
much a toll graduation has taken on me.

We were in the meeting on Friday
where they issued us our caps and gowns and they told us that we are the largest
class in the history of East Coweta to graduate. I’m thinkin’ “oh great, I’m
like 7th from last to be called.” Then I’m thinkin’ “thats so cool.”

praying for good weather that day as well, because if my graduation gets rained
on then we move into the new gym and I’ll only get 3 to 4 rain tickets. With
that said, I’ll only get to allow 3 or 4 of my family members watch me graduate,
which isn’t fair.

I’ve been highly emotional lately due to several
reasons. There’s a lot going on that most likely no one will or could ever
understand. I want nothing more than for my grandmother to be at my graduation.
That’s something that I always thought she would get to see. Of course she’ll be
there watching from above, and watching over me so I don’t trip and fall flat on
my face as I walk to receive my diploma, but I want her there sitting with my
family, cheering me on. I want to be able to hug her neck afterwards and see the
way she looks at me afterwards. I WANT HER HERE. Not one of my grandparents will
see me graduate, not one. The only thing I’ve ever asked for is for her to see
my get baptized and watch me walk across that football field. She missed my
baptism on April 23rd, and now I wont have her there at graduation. I know when
I wake up that morning, or start getting ready because I most likely wont sleep,
that she’ll be walking beside me, holding my hand, and she’ll be the one holding
me up, helping me stand strong because I wont be strong enough to do it by
myself. I love her, miss her, and want her to know how much I love her and how
things would be different if she were here. I just want her to know that because
I never got to say good-bye.

I think I’m going to go to bed, I have a
long day ahead of me.
I’ll write more later whenever I get another chance

Dude, yall don’t know how epphin happy I am that I don’t have to go to night
school. I’m the happiest person on this earth. Wait, the most ecstatic person on
this Earth. So I came out with a 74 in the class and I couldn’t be nothing but
happy. I know that sounds bad but I absolutely mean it. I now have meaning to
wake up in the mornings, have meaning in my life, I can smile like I once did
(and everyday at that), I think I’m getting back to being the old

Anyways, just thought’d I would share the good news to anyone
I haven’t told already…

The time has come for us to move on,
We look back to see that our friends are
long gone.

There’s no turning back now,
the future is one step

As we get on our knees to come together and pray,
We thank God
for guiding us His way.

We’re graduating now,
Lets keep our heads held

It’s time for us to say our goodbye’s,
Time is slowly
But our last four years have flown right by.
We will never forget
the memories that are now once passed.

We open our eyes and see our
dreams coming true,
–Like a sky so bright, and so blue.

This isn’t
our last day,
but it is a new beginning.

The door is now open,
life is embracing us with open arms.

I previously posted in an entry:

If you don’t start
recognizing good sometimes, and always the bad, You’ll find yourself doing bad,
and never good.

In Economics on Friday I found myself to be
proven right. That’s a first, I know. I was really shocked, but I had to take
notes so I’ll post some on

It’s called Operant

The Reinforcement side to it: increases the probability
that behavior will be repeated.

Postive Reinforcement: example is a
reward, means something is added.
Negative Reinforcement: example is
something is removed that will have the tendancy to be repeated.

Punishment side to it: decreases the proability that behavior will be

Positive Punishment: Adds
Negative Punishment:


that said:

Reinforcing the things you do right has more of an effect than
punishing for the things you do wrong.

Punishment only leaves that
everlasting picture in a child’s mind that torments them for life. Believe it or
not, I forget the percentage, but most prisoners in the U.S. Prisons today were
always whooped for their wrong doings than ever being reinforced for the things
they did right. Most prisons in the U.S. now go by the Operant Conditioning
System to keep the Prisons fair and orderly.

I found it interesting
myself, whether you do or not is your own


Why is it that parents always find what Children do bad, and never
see what Children do right?

Mr. Humphrey, my Economics teacher, said in
class Friday that if he would have known about the Operant Conditioning when he
was still raising his kids, he would have done a lot of things different. He
said he hated whooping his kids left and right, but he noticed that it was
always for the same thing. It goes to show you that punishment doesn’t always


Why does parents always gripe about how Children get things
done, as long as they get it done?

I never understood that, as long
as it gets done, what does it matter? I mean either way you lose, you do it and
you get it done, you get yelled at about how you do it, you don’t do it and not
get it done, you get yelled at for not doing it. It’s a losing

I guess you can never do anything right when you’re just a failure, and you’re
failing yourself in life. I guess you could never satisfy your parents when
they’re ashamed of

Til’ next time…

Have you ever wished that you was someone that you’re not? Have you ever wished that you were perfect in every aspect of life? Have you ever wished that people would notice the good you do, and not always the bad?

Yeah, welcome to my world…

I’m sorry I can’t live up to everyone’s standards. I am only me, and I wish that people would just accept that. I’m not my brothers. I’m not a conformist. I am not a genius. I’m not book-smart. I actually find myself somewhat dumb. I’m not one who can make sense out of the simplest things in life, I actually make more sense out of the complexity of life. I’m not one to follow the crowd, nor jump on the “bandwagon.” I find myself very unique in my own ways. I don’t have friends just to take up time. I don’t date just to take up time. I put my emotions into everything I do. What’s life if you don’t live it? I’m not the skinniest, or prettiest person on Earth. I don’t try to impress people. I don’t think I should have to, because if people weren’t so judgemental they would be impressed with who I am now. I have some skills that some people would find weird. I just think that they’re unique. Some might call me a geek, or a nerd, but I don’t think I conform to either of those labels. That’s another thing…Labels, what’s the use in those? If I have friends that I hang out with that belong to certain groups that’s fine too. I don’t have to hang out with a certain group just because of the way I dress. I have friends that are rednecks, jocks, nerds, preps, etc.

I’m sorry that I don’t please my brothers and my mother, because I’m not college-material. As the looks of it right now, I’m not going to qualify for the HOPE SCHOLARSHIP. I’m maintaining a ‘C’ GPA. So yes, that makes me a ‘C’ student. I’m sorry I don’t make sense of the problem: x(2)+y(4-2)=0. I make sense out of the neccesities in life. I make sense out of what I will use in the long run. Yes, if I could do things different my first three years of highschool, I would. No, I don’t regret a minute of my highschool years. I don’t feel like I should. Yes, I feel like a worthless piece of crap right now, because I’m not the smartest person in the world. Yes, I only got an 800 on the old SAT the first time I took it. No, I haven’t attempted a second try at it. No, I haven’t studied for it, and I don’t plan to. If I’m not smart enough to pass it on my own, then what’s the use and studying, and showing colleges that I had to study in order to pass it. No, I probably wont get accepted into the college that I want. I can live with that. Right now I don’t even feel like going to college. Just when I thought I had everything figured out, I crash right back into the brick wall that I just got back up from. I fear that If I try climbing the brick wall, that it will just grow higher, and higher. Seems there is no way around that wall either. When I’m with certain people, I know who I am. When I’m with other people, I have no clue. I wish people would see the good that I do, and not the bad. I don’t like people that only see the bad. I was at a Joel Osteen Concert thing, and he said if you only allow yourself to see the bad, then THAT’s what you’re going to see. I wish that these certain people would allow theirselves to see the GOOD sometimes.

I just hope that these certain people know that they’re driving me away from them, when they only see the bad that I do. I don’t do nothing extremely bad. The worse thing I’ve ever done is skip school without Mom knowing. Everyone’s like no that isnt, you’ve drank before. Yes, I’ve drank before, but I don’t find it extremely bad, because when I did drink, my Mom and Dad was there, along with the rest of my family. So, I don’t think that’s the worst thing I have ever done. I just would like to apologize to the people that are described above. I’m sorry that you feel the way you do, and NO I’m not apologizing for someone that I am not. I will say this though.

I say:

If you don’t start recognizing good sometimes, and always the bad, You’ll find yourself doing bad, and never good.

Well, I got to go. I’m skipping first block today, but Mama knows so it’s all good. It’s 9:04, and I need to finish getting ready.

Until next time —

Today started off Great, I couldn’t ask for anything better. I met down at
the post office at 7:10 this morning to pick up Caitlyn so her and I could go
eat breakfast before school at the Waffle House. It was really good, and her and
I kept on getting weird looks, because we were laughing. I enjoyed myself 100%.
Her and I deemed that every Friday that we’re going to eat breakfast at Waffle
House before school. Well we got to school like 2 seconds before the bell rang.
(it sort of reminds me of Saved By the Bell) Well Spanish was fun, as usual, but
I always look forward to Visual Arts, it’s so freakin’ hilarious in there.
Anyways, mom had to come check me out early so I could follow her to my
Cardiologist, because I had my 3 month check-up today. Everything’s fine, but he
was a little disappointed, because I didn’t lose any weight over the summer. Oh
well, I’m just a happy fat kid. He wants me to lose 15 lbs. by Thanksgiving (3
months). He’s going to be me 2 dollars a pound for each pound I lose, just like
he’s been doing. He wants me to get down to 140 lbs. by the time spring rolls
around, and if I do, he’s going to buy me a Prom Dress. We’ll see if I want that
Prom Dress that bad. So as of right now, I have 37.5, or 38 lbs. to lose. You do
the math…

After the Cardiologist, Ma and me went and ate at Arby’s right up the street
from the CEC. In order for me to be counted for my 3rd block class I can’t be
late no more than 45 minutes into it, or it’s considered an absence. I got there
at 1:08 p.m. I didn’t have to be there till 1:15. Oh well, but I got to third
block, and just sat there listening to music, and browsing the internet, because
the Networking Plus software hasn’t come in yet. YAY! In 4th block we played
Aquire. It’s has significant meaning to Economics, and the rules takes a while
to grasp, but we play it every Friday, so it’s getting to where the game flows.

After the bell rang at the CEC at 3:10, I stopped by my cousin’s house that’s
on the way back to ECHS. I didn’t stay long before I left. I left from there,
and went two seconds up the road, and I was at the Highschool. I had to go back
by there, because I left my phone with MAMA ‘VERNE, and so I had to go get it,
and turn in my doctor’s excuse for checking out. Well, me and Caitlyn on the way
back to school from Waffle House this morning planned to move Mama ‘Verne’s car
from where she had parked it today, but the only thing standing between me and
doing that was THE KEYS. I was like Caitlyn go ask your Mom for her keys so I
can do what we had planned. She gets them and I go move her car to where she
couldn’t see it, and We walk back into her office, and I toss them to her, and
tell her Me and Caitlyn’ll be in my car up on the hill listening to music. She
goes, “OK!”

She finishes up what she had to do, and gets her stuff, and comes out the
front entrance doors of the school. She walks down the sidewalk where she
thought her car was still parked. Well she starts looking around like a lost
puppy, and the look on her face was PRICELESS!!! Needless to say, I had my
digital camera on in my car, and I snapped a picture of it.

She just called me 5 minutes ago…

Me: Hello?

Me: *laughing*
Mama: I told Mike
(daddy, her husband) that you even took a picture of me searching for my car,
and he told me to call you and tell you that he bows down to that.
Me: I was
like well tell Daddy I said Thank Ya.
Mama: I mean he’s literally dying from
laughing so hard over here.
Me: OH Man..*laughing hysterically*
Me: You
know what’s even greater??
Mama: What’s that??
Me: Me and Caitlyn planned
it out coming back to EC from eating breakfast this morning…
*laughing* OMG, you did?
Me: YEP!
Caitlyn: *in the background* I DONT
Mama: Oh now she’s pleading the fifth!
Caitlyn: I
Me: Now see, you know if you didn’t have me in your life, you wouldn’t
have half the excitement that you do now.
Mama: That’s true
Me: See, I
only have innocent fun…
Mama: Yeah, you’re right…
Me: Yup! I was like
I’m gonna put that down in my Senior Scrapbook..
Mama: You do that!
Me: I
Mama: You’re such a bad child
Me: I am not!
Mama: I know that’s
not true, she goes you know I love you..
Me: Yeah, Yeah…
Mama: Well, I’m
going to eat dinner.
Me: Tell Daddy to try and stop laughing so he can
Mama: Ok, bye bye..
Me: Bye

I tell you what, that was probably the best phone call of my life from Mama..
I LAUGHED SO HARD! Ma goes, what’s going on. I’m like…NOTHING!

And now I’m sitting here at home, all bored and making a screensaver to match
my background…