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Tag Archives: Writings by Rebekah W.

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Look into my eyes
Tell me what you see…
Is it everything that you hoped it would be?

I’m everything everyone warned you about
the girl opposed — contrary of your dreams.

I’m no poster girl.
What about me?
Look into my eyes
Tell me what you see…

Look at me,
Do you see what I see?
I’m just a girl,
living in this cruel, harsh world.

Small town truth,
small town lies,
Despite the one you never recognize.

Look at me,
See what I see?
I’m just a girl,
living in this cruel, cruel world.

Masking this soul,
kept undone —
I’m breaking outward
Hatred exposed.

Window to my soul,
Scars stitched on my heart —
Every girls secret,
kept hidden in the dark.

Blind sighted by pain,
the weakest of all steel,
I’m not machinery,
my feelings are quite real.

Look at me,
Ya see what I see?
I’m just a girl,
Existing —
This cruel, harsh world.

It’s the relationship between mother and child
when they’re in the hospital.
It’s what we wake up for each morning
and shows the true meaning why we’re alive.
It’s inside the cancer patient waiting
for the doctor to tell her she’s in remission.
It’s what held a nation together
while terrorism stuck.
It’s in the nine-year old girl
who just lost her grandmother.

It live in each and every one of us;
surviving everyday life.
It’s the applauding that comes
from your parents when your name is called on graduation day.
It’s in the way we speak towards one another.

It’s the work that you do everyday
to try and get by and make ends meet,
To go home to lives that love and trust in you,
to see what God has given you, that makes you trust in HIM.
It’s the reason we wake every morning,
to journey through the maze of life;
— it’s in this room as we speak

Two Thousand Seven:

The Year of Great Attributes and Disheartening Upsets

By: Rebekah Wigley

In the year two thousand and seven, life had many great attributes and a lot of disheartening upsets. I learned many things that only begin to defy who I am as a person. Understanding the world is a relatively hard task for some, but others are faced with multitudes of distress trying to figure out their place within it. Defining yourself is much more than telling someone who you are, what you do, or where you’re from. It’s a sense of  accomplishment for some and even heartbreak for others. I’m a firm believer in a higher power on this earth and that you’re only given situations that you can handle.

As we walk through life following a narrow path we begin to question so many things and who we are as a person. I’ve learned a lot within the containment of four walls and the stillness of the night. Everything we do in life echoes in eternity but even louder in the quiet demur of the night. There are so many standards and inequalities in life with every piece of it stacked up against you. Powerful overstatements and minuscule idiosyncrasies are what brainwashes us as Americans. It’s true what they say, time can play tricks on you. Here we are, it’s two thousand and eight and were seven days in. The hopes for a new start are ever willing but it’s all still the same. As we embarked on a new year things stayed the same, and life went on. The ball dropped as the clock struck twelve. For the hopes of some for a better year were only struck with the roll over of another digit to add to the age that classifies us as people. What makes a new year so different? Since the start of this one I’ve seen the ups and downs. I had a friend lose his mother, another friend is awaiting the death of her aunt, Soldiers are still in Iraq fighting this war that for some doesn’t seem worth it at all, and the economy of America hasn’t changed. I started my new job, but I’m still in the same place I was before. Mom is still struggling; this makes the eighth year in a row. We could tip our glasses to good health but who even has that any more?

Another truth; Time is a murder and a healer. January 13th marks the tenth year anniversary since the suffered death of my beloved grandmother. As time drags on, I’ve only seen myself grieve the loss of her more and more. The situation with my “father” and my parents divorce doesn’t haunt me like it once did and things have gotten a little better with him. The scars that one masked my body from my four-wheeler wreck are slowing diminishing from my skin. But mostly, my personality and self esteem has healed to great extents from previous instances in my life.

Fact: There will come a time in your life where you’ll have to make a decision based solely on your well-being and you’ll have to ignore your heart. Result: You will be battered, bruised, and broken but you will learn more about yourself in that instance than you will in every day life. Life is your battlefield, choose the ground you walk upon, and never lose sight of the small things. Be who you are, stand behind it, and evolve as a human being. Although, love bears all things; relationships are only what you make of them. Fight for what you believe in and be the change. Minimalism is greater than materialism and life is just another reminder of that. Don’t be afraid to stand out from a crowd and wear your heart on your sleeve.

This past year has taught me a great deal. I wear my heart on my sleeve and always get hurt, but I’ve trudged through my battles and I have what I need in life. If I had an open view of the characteristics of my heart there’s no telling what image it would depict. Although it may be a horrific sight, the stitching of scars have only become minor details of who I am. Putting all the pieces back together and moving forward with my life has been one of the most trying experiences I’ve had to face. I’ve been used, wounded, jaded, and hurt but then again I look to one of the most prized possessions in my life and see that I was blessed, appreciated, and loved for who I am. Finding my way through life’s maze is a treacherous path, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have someone walking beside me every step of the way and wants to share in not only the highs but the lows as well. No matter how many times your heart breaks, there is always that one person you can let see the scars. When you do, they help heal the stitches and tape up all the cuts. A very inspirational person once said, “Let them see the cracks in your armor. Let your light be seen in order for others to find their way. “Having the power to liberate yourself is beyond the most invigorating emotion known to man. Having the ability to set your heart free is having the courage to follow it.

In life, nothing is certain but living behind walls has put me at a place where I never want to end up again. Having someone brave enough to pulverize them in order to love you is the most courageous thing one could do as a selfless act. I owe a debt of gratitude to a certain someone for saving me from myself. Being able to showcase myself once again showed me that not all people are one and the same; there are genuine people left in this world. Just know I would go to the end of the world and back for you. I love you. Being able to share the unlikely events in one’s life with someone and having a bond so strong to hold dear to your heart is enough to unmask all the scars and heal all the stitched wounds that once dismantled a poetic soul. For one to say they’re not powerful beyond means are robbing their self of greatest gift in life. People look to other’s for guidance. Having the selflessness to show the cracks in your armor means you’re genuine enough to saves one life. A quote to live by: “You’re only as strong as people you surround yourself with.” No matter what one may speak of oneself, they’re more powerful beyond belief. It’s amazing to think how powerful one can be by surrounding their self with the most compelling people. Bestowing love upon a person is enough to save them from their darkest hours and their deepest fears. Take the time out to listen to what people have to say. It’s amazing what can happen when you just lend an ear.

I refer to life as a mountain range; hilltop crests, benevolent valleys, beautiful scenery, and dangerous paths that were made to hike. No matter what story has been told and no matter what people say, the ending is always different. What lies behind us and what lies in front of us is nothing compared to what lies within us. Everyone dreams of their “mountain top experience.” I don’t understand why there are boundaries to how many we are allowed to have, for there are countless ranges left to hike. Life is filled with so many things that mold the people of who we evolve into and become. My wish for the world is limitless “mountain top experiences” and the opportunity to seek them. If you stick by and take the path that was chosen for you, you’ll grow as a person and you’ll learn multitudes about your will and testament in life. Be profound; refer to yourself as a masterpiece. God made us a canvas and I’m a coat of many colors.

“As we grow up, we learn that even the one person
that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have
your heart broken probably more than once and it’s harder every time.
You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things
an old one did. You’ll cry because time is passing too fast, and you’ll
eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too
much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every sixty seconds
you spend upset is a minute
of happiness you’ll never get back.” — AnonymousHave
you ever wondered where you’ll end up ten years down the road if for
every two steps you take forward it only sets you back five more?
There’s trials and tribulations that each person have to face and only
they can figure out why they encounter such rocky paths. For every
situation where you feel like you’re going to fall and scrape your knee
do you hold back and not face it, or do you come out on the other end
with scars as souvenirs. For every battle you’ve encountered,
conquered, and persevered did you enjoy it while it lasted or did you
bad mouth it because it was the hardest thing you ever accomplished?

For
every time fault was thrown your way did you blame yourself or did you
blame the other party? For every mountain you have climbed did you
acclaim all the power or did you say God helped me? Humans contradict
their every movements through pressure to fit in. The only real murder
is rejection of another life. Is is so hard that you have to look a
certain way just to fit in or wear a certain brand just to have a
status in life. Why do we have different classes to justify a citizen?
Is it true that if everyone else is wearing a red shirt and you wear a
yellow one you are not allowed to sit at the same table as them? Is it
so hard for humans to unify theirselves even if one person is mentally
challenged and the other one is a profound genius? Why is it that
humans dismantle diversity? I don’t think that parents teach their kids
to conform to a certain label while growing up.

Why can’t all
humans have the beliefs of a kid. Kids have the innocence to change the
world. Why is it that their innocence is corrupted at such a young age?
If each person believed that anything is possible would we be more
secure with ourselves in order to love our neighboring stranger? Would
another human disown us if we believed as children do? Believing in
things of innocence does not forsake our meaning as adults. Why is it
that humans have so many insecurites? Is this becoming the trend of a
new decade? Why is it so hard to let the one’s we love in? Is it the
insecurities that keeps us out, or is it the only thing we know how to
do in order to protect ourselves? If we let insecurities ruin our
lives what does that say for our kids’ future?

— Bekah

Your smile is my hope;
— Representing my will —
Your voice is my rock;
— Completing the void you fill —
Your future is my assurance;
— Telling me not to give up —
Your light is my beacon;
— Guiding my every step —
You’re my hope,
my rock, assurance, and beacon,
You’re irresistable; My product, the keeper.
Your smile,
Your voice, future, and light,
You’re smart, My product; Overall, My life.

“You Shall Have Deliverance”

As
I sit here listing to Deliverance by Bubba Sparxx, I cant help but to
rewind three-hundred and sixty-one days ago to the grass-pit parking
lot out in front of our school. Ill give you a brief history of what
the grass-pit parking lot is. Its the front lawn at our high school in
Sharpsburg. You see, there werent enough parking spots per student so
they opened the opportunity to us of parking in the grass. This started
our senior year, and it has also been a legacy lost as the class of
two-thousand and six filed out of the stadium after graduating on May
twenty-seventh of two-thousand and six.

There
was only a select group of people, or I should actually say friends,
that parked out on the front lawn. There werent many others besides the
people who claimed their titles as the rednecks. Ironic right? You see,
we were labeled as rednecks for the sole reason because we wore Dixie
shirts, cowboy boots, and belt buckles. Many or most of the group had
trucks ranging from Fords all the way down to Dodges. The Irony may
intrigue you, but I promise it isnt what it seems.

In
high school youre no one if you dont have a label you fit in with. I,
for one, had many different labels; I fit in with just about everyone
and had friends from every aspect and groups from that school. Most
would call me popular, but I am not a conformist, therefore I won’t
conform my name to that word; its that simple. I am me; there really is
no word for it.

Getting
back to the subject. The grass-pit parking lot became the meeting
place, the realm, the base, the club, the after-school hang out, etc.
Whatever you prefer, it was more than that. It was like home for us. It
was the one place where we knew that everyone was friends and nothing
came between us basically. All was fair, open, and honest. It was the
place where we showed up for school early, and stayed late after. For
people that absolutely despise school like me, that was kind of a big
deal. It was the meeting place and parking lot for all of us at the
popular Friday night football games. Shoot, it was a place where we
even went to meet on a weekend when we had nothing better to do. It was
ours, it was home.

Speaking
of much more, the things we would do there were crazy. Friends fell in
and out of love, had their first experience of smokeless tobacco, and
were so wired on mountain dew and energy drinks they had the jitters.
They left keys in their cars knowing people would get in them and drive
them to far away places on the campus to find it not where they left
it. We had car problems, teacher problems, and life problems. We
spilled our guts out to one another on those grounds, heck we even left
Friday night football games early to go out there, crank up the music,
line dance, have spin-out contest in vehicles, it was a high, something
you dont have to use to change your mental state of mind. We practiced
softball, backyard wrestling, and competed in spitting contests. The
highlight of that place was when it rained; those were the most
anticipated days in the history of that place. Mudding, one word,
several pronunciations, one meaning. Its what fueled our creativity,
fulfilled our boredom, and got us into the most trouble, well besides
Colonel Raines and the history with him.

The
cold winters wouldnt even keep us away from this place. Bundled up in
beanies, sweatshirts, jeans, boots, and Carhartt jackets we would still
be out there like normal. After the mudding incidents they forbade us
to park on the grass anymore, and it totally crushed the reason we were
at school in the first place. Second semester rolled around and things
werent the same, we literally had to fight for parking spaced just to
hang out, thats how large the student body of our school was. If you
showed up past 7:30 you basically werent getting a parking spot.
Friends vanished, we all basically fell apart. Its all the bittersweet
ending we all have come to know and accept as our senior year came to a
screeching halt when we heard our names called out on that football
field that morning.

As
we sat there on that hot, humid morning in late May we all would
occasionally glance up at the section we called our own at the Friday
night football games; The Camo and Carhartt section. Forever will the
legacy of the gang of two-thousand and six live on, we will never be
forgotten. Even though there is now a ninth-grade building sitting on
top of all these memories that helped us become the people we are now,
they will forever live on in our hearts. These memories will be some of
the stories that we will be one day telling our kids about.

Its
hard now that were already to August and we watch everyone move away
and move on. I never thought we would have made it to this point, this
fast. It takes your breath away, its exhilarating. Although I look to
my future and see so many new experiences and new chances to make
things right and do all these things different, its even harder leaving
behind what we all know and have grown accustomed to. I guess I never
thought I would get to the point where I would be ok with it, I am
really not sure If Im actually telling the truth now. Through
tear-filled eyes I guess its time to bid everyone a farewell and proper
goodbye because I know wherever life takes us were all going to
succeed. I hope you all strive to do well wherever life leads you and I
hope that one day youll look back on your memories and your time spent
here and think of good times and how theyve made you into who you are.

To the gang of 06:

Heres to us and the turning of a new leaf.

As I pause to reflect over the past few years of my life I can’t help but to
think that my life has been truly blessed, even though I’ve complained about the
littlest things and how hard life’s been. While thinking about these past four
years of my life and how hard I thought they were, I could now kick myself for
having complained in the first place. In fourth block the other day, my teacher
made my class write down four pieces of advice (from experience) to leave behind
to upcoming freshmen. Only being allotted five minutes at the end of class to
collect our thoughts and write it down, I only got two of my four done. One
being “Make the best of it while you can, because time flies by too quickly.
Don’t skip out on school thinking you have better things to do, because you’ll
find yourself coming back when it’s too late.” and the other being, “Always be
thankful for how well you have it, because there is always someone out there
that has it worse. When you think you can’t go on, find it within yourself to
pick up and move on. You’ll always
succeed.”
All the times that I’ve complained about my mom
and how she’s gotten on my nerves or how I’ve griped about how she always
complains about the things I don’t do, or don’t do correctly. I think about it
now and how much she’s impacted my life, and think how much she loves me.

I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it wasn’t for her. I practically grew up
without a father. Now I say this making it sound worse than it seems. I have a
dad, he was there coaching mine or my brothers ball games, and umpired and stuff
like that. He was never “there, there” when I could have used that father
figure. He divorced my mother back when I was twelve. I never had him there for
the things that meant the most in my life. He wasn’t there during the hardest
years of my life. He left my mother to raise us, would always lapse on the child
support (still does for that fact) and left my mother to work 3 full-time jobs
and still uphold the responsiblities as a normal house mom; cook, clean,
laundry, and finish raising two kids during their teenage years. So all the
times that I’ve found myself complaining about how hard she is on me, or the
things that she does (that she SHOULD do) I now
could kick myself for, because I constantly fought with her while she was doing
what she was supposed to do. I want to be just like her, she’s a very strong
person and has gotten me to where I am today. There may be a few things I would
do differently, but that’s something I have to do myself.
This past year
I found myself basically friendless. Sure I had friends, but never a best
friend. I claimed to have a “best friend,” but I really didn’t. So far, it’s
been great; this year that is. God blessed my life more times than one. I’ve
found a permanant home at Line Creek Baptist Church. I’ve made numerous friends
within the youth group, and I have best friend and sister. God even sent me four
other friends that I am thankful for. Without a shadow of a doubt, I know that
I’ve been truly blessed. I was baptized on
April 23, 2006 after finally bringing myself to a state to be able to. About 9
years ago I was supposed to get baptized along with my older brother Chris. My
grandmother was supposed to attend, but she fell sick and we cancelled it. She
was in a hosipital bed for nineteen months and was completely helpless. A stroke
took her mobility and her vision. She had a G-tube, and a catheter. As for her
food, we had to crush it and put it through her G-tube three times a day, every
day until her last. We did everything to avoid putting her in a nursing home.
She stayed in my bedroom and all, and I slept on a cot by her bedside up until
she died. Since the day I was born practically, I slept by her side. Whether it
was in the bed with her, or by her bedside on that cot, I was always in the same
room with her. Ever since she died on January 13, 1998, I could never bring
myself to get baptized, because she was supposed to be there to watch. There has
only been two things that I’ve ever asked for and thats for her to attend my
baptism and graduation. I wont get to have her at either of them. She’s there
watching over, but I just wish I could have her there for both physical longing
and emotional support. Things would be so much different if she were still here.
I know she’s in a better place. My graduation is on May 27, 2006, and I hope
that when I look out into the stands where my family is sitting, I see her there
sitting with them waiting for my name to be called. I wish I could see her face
and see how proud she is of me. I just want her to know I love her, and right
now I’m having a hard time dealing with this and wish she was here.

Overall, I’m complete. This time I actually mean it. So if you ever hear me
complain about how bad I have it. Slap me, and wake me up to
reality.

That’s all I have for now…
I think I’m going to
bed.

As time goes on,
we draw near,
conquering things,
that sometimes brings
us to tears.

That’s what life’s all about,
adolescent fears,
wiping
away the tears,
and loving the ones we hold dear.

*The richest people
are not a prisoner to money,
–They’re prisoners to love.*
It’s not what
you take from this world when you die,
It’s what you leave
behind.

Human’s natural ability are to succeed and prosper,
Never
allowing room for failure,
Waking each day is succeedment,
What you get
out of it is a personal achievement.
–Prospered, Prospering, Will
Prosper

SUCCEED…

For the one that went to bed earlier and didn’t get the annoucement that it was
on my myspace…aka Abby

Spreadin’ The Lunatic Love
By:
Rebekah Wigley

Lunatics till death do us part,
It’s like a
robber who stole all our hearts.
Nothing else better,
Nothing else
greater
Its so small
Yet nothing will shatter
This bond that to
some
Dont even matter.

Fans by choice,
Sisters by fate,
It’s
something so small
that only God can create.

First the parkin’
lot,
then the nacho fight
Whats next,
Diana’s resting spot?

A
knife and a basketball,
In walgreens stands the aisles so tall.
Galbladder
malfunctions,
In the hospital for somethin’
Blow-drying armpits,
The
Big Pink Ball,
And The Nerf Gun a kit,
What’s left,
Dixie and Rosie
attacking your shit?

First off there is no “e” in cheesy,
It’s like
Kathy yelling, “TAKE IT EASY!”
Oh why does Bethany have to be so
sleezy?
Its mastering the art of being Teasy.

Paige is the next Aflac
Voice-over,
Is Diana’s house the next we hover,
to spread Toilet paper all
over?
Operation Overload is the game,
For Lunatics is our name.

“We
some crazy ass mothafuckas,”
What’s up with Paige saying,
Ha Ha,
sucka!!!???
You’re 19 acting so silly,
C’mon, I mean really.

“Lord
I apologize,”
For it’s the Lunatics,
The object of our “highs,”
For
it’s Fanny we all despise.

For the internet’s so great,
It makes you
appreciate
that you can look up and call
The greatest of them
all.

The lucky number will always be 26,
As for prank
calling,
That’s our Friday night fix.
For us the jokes live on,
in this
timeless ending rhyme.

Fans by choice,
Sisters by fate,
It’s
something so small
that only God can create.

Lunatics till death do us
part,
It’s like a robber who stole all our hearts.
Nothing else
better,
Nothing else greater
Its so small
Yet nothing will
shatter
This bond that to some
Dont even matter.